Since my roommates happened to all be out of town today, I decided to get out and do what I love to do, go for a helluva long walk. I parked down at the college and spent the next four hours walking around downtown and Fernan. I find it very freeing, especially at night. However, the warm weather was too good to pass up.
I ran into quite a few people I knew just out and about, both good friends and vague acquaintances. I suppose that's why I love Cd'A. There's always somebody you're bound to meet at random.
Also had a couple things on my mind. If you haven't tried it, walking is the best way to filter out the world and really reflect. The rhythm of your steps can be a real stress relief. I prefer walking late at night when there are less people out, the air is cooler, and the quiet allows you a privacy rarely found during the daytime.
I'm starting to like this early Spring/Summer we have going on. After all, the peaceful atmosphere is thrown out the window completely when you're fighting through two feet of snow.
Trust me, I've been there. lol
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Where I've Been. Where I'm Headed.
"I construct my memories with my present. I am lost, abandoned in the present. I try in vain to rejoin the past: I cannot escape."
Jean-Paul Sartre wrote this in his novel Nausea. It's a wonderful read, and really satiates the mind as all great books do which deal with the meaning of all this. I may not be a huge reader, but it's still important to appreciate the classics.
More importantly (the quote gave me a laugh when I read it), Sartre seems to have perfectly captured my last few months in a sentence. Seriously.
Since last October, I've removed myself from many of my friends and loved ones. It was a purposeful choice almost; I just needed to get away. I needed to really sit down, catch my breath, and analyze my life and where I am taking it.
What I discovered was a bit of an eye-opener for me.
Obviously we were created with a taste for nostalgia. Each and every one of us tends to dwell on the past to one degree or another. I tend to dwell on it too much. But this was different: this period of self-exile. I had to ask myself some hard and (frankly) painful questions. What have I actually done with my life so far? Where do I want to be twenty years from now? Is it better to be successful in life or to be happy, should I be forced to choose?
In the end, the answers were quite clear. Of all the miserable people I know in this world, the overwhelming majority of them said their biggest regret was never summoning the courage to do what they wanted to in life career-wise.
You could say I've taken this to heart. Frankly, I'm sick of regrets. I'm barely 21 years old and I already have a truckload of them piled up. The last thing I need is another one that will haunt me the rest of my life.
So after much personal discovery, I've realized that I was given a calling to be a Marine. Maybe for a few years. Maybe for a lifetime. I can't say yet. But what I do know is that I am tired of running from this. I've been scared and juvenile about the whole matter, but no more.
So if you're still reading this then welcome. I'm resurrecting my old blog that I abandoned a while ago for no good reason. I want to write regularly throughout the summer, after which I plan to enlist. After that happens, well, I expect my posts to get more interesting.
Jean-Paul Sartre wrote this in his novel Nausea. It's a wonderful read, and really satiates the mind as all great books do which deal with the meaning of all this. I may not be a huge reader, but it's still important to appreciate the classics.
More importantly (the quote gave me a laugh when I read it), Sartre seems to have perfectly captured my last few months in a sentence. Seriously.
Since last October, I've removed myself from many of my friends and loved ones. It was a purposeful choice almost; I just needed to get away. I needed to really sit down, catch my breath, and analyze my life and where I am taking it.
What I discovered was a bit of an eye-opener for me.
Obviously we were created with a taste for nostalgia. Each and every one of us tends to dwell on the past to one degree or another. I tend to dwell on it too much. But this was different: this period of self-exile. I had to ask myself some hard and (frankly) painful questions. What have I actually done with my life so far? Where do I want to be twenty years from now? Is it better to be successful in life or to be happy, should I be forced to choose?
In the end, the answers were quite clear. Of all the miserable people I know in this world, the overwhelming majority of them said their biggest regret was never summoning the courage to do what they wanted to in life career-wise.
You could say I've taken this to heart. Frankly, I'm sick of regrets. I'm barely 21 years old and I already have a truckload of them piled up. The last thing I need is another one that will haunt me the rest of my life.
So after much personal discovery, I've realized that I was given a calling to be a Marine. Maybe for a few years. Maybe for a lifetime. I can't say yet. But what I do know is that I am tired of running from this. I've been scared and juvenile about the whole matter, but no more.
So if you're still reading this then welcome. I'm resurrecting my old blog that I abandoned a while ago for no good reason. I want to write regularly throughout the summer, after which I plan to enlist. After that happens, well, I expect my posts to get more interesting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
